Ring the bells that still can ring

Forget your perfect offering

There is a crack in everything

That’s how the light gets in

-Leonard Cohen

The lyrics to this Leonard Cohen song ring deeply in my heart.  As a recovering perfectionist, it is challenging for me to accept the “cracks” that I see in my own life – in my decisions, in my work, in the façade that I portray to the world.  Even in my art – the place where I allow myself to be “free” – I see the imperfections and I cringe.  This wasn’t the “freedom” or the “wild abandon” that I wished to express.  The agenda still prevails, and I find my creativity altered by the outcome that I wish to see.  I am disappointed in myself (again!) for not being able to embrace the freedom of imperfection.

The wounds that crack our hearts, that blemish our skin, that hinder our trust… all of them… can I stop “patching” my mistakes for long enough to see “how the light gets in”?  Can I use these wounds wisely to let my soul breathe?  I like to think that by letting the light in, I will experience healing in a space that is ready and waiting to be seen.  Ahhhh, perfection.  Sometimes I get caught in the messy details and doubt.  If I look deeply, I can see that the true beauty is closer than I think, disguised by the mistakes that make me learn the truth and by the mistakes that make me see the light.

In the words of Bob Ross – artist, teacher, and peace mentor:  “We don’t make mistakes.  Just happy little accidents.”  I am going to remind myself of this the next time I start to focus on my own shortcomings.  And the next time I pull out my pen and paper for some creative freedom, I’ll remember another favorite Bob Ross quote:  “Now then, let’s get crazy.”